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18.06.2022
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When i was a student in fifth levels, I imagined I might can secondary school and ooVoo my personal first genuine beau

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The explanation for title switch got a lot to create to your crippling anxiety one to plagued me personally elder 12 months, and my need to worry about-reveal a rejuvenated opportunity. What’s more, it had a lot to do with me attempting to separate myself from my stuffy creating college in which I invested – I will with confidence say – the most formative years of my entire life. From the boarding school, since i have found its way to eighth amount, I’d started hoping you to definitely school will be quite simple. I would obtained familiar with lifestyle on the go during the a relatively higher worry environment. Exactly what far more could one to must achieve the Ivy Category?

But once I got to university, high school lingered for the unforeseen implies. For example, it actually was extremely strange and hard so you’re able to text message the new family – having to text message my pals to hold out rather than leaving my dorm getting a good novelty. We noticed suffocated within my multiple – an experience much less kooky-but-in-a-funny-method than just my personal mom’s reports caused it to be look. With regards to groups, We had not forecast the issue out-of one hundred+ person lectures – this new inside-person interest requisite, the new aside-of-class place of work hours, TA and remark sessions. Overall, having less buy – adolescent independence, ironically what i is actually craving – thought more bad than sweet.

It’s against the latter ladder, unfortuitously, a large number of American higher colleges lay the conditions having brilliance and you can measure its students’ respect. Thus certainly, there is particular cognitive disagreement for students entering a place such Yale, otherwise my earlier institution Wesleyan, wishing one another to keep towards the “the way” and luxuriate in four years out of unbridled abandonment.

Earlier this Could possibly get whenever i transported colleges in a pandemic, I became at the core of this question: What roadway have always been We to the? Even more clearly, what do I want? They required days in advance of I actually attained the brand new courage to make an email branded “Precisely what do I want?” as well as in despair, I ran across the only anything I’m able to articulate to help you me had been basic facts about what I did not including throughout the Wesleyan. I’d never ever offered myself the true luxury of your place determine personal goals and you will rating her or him and you will state some tips about what things to me and just why.

When i transported, I discovered the challenge which have university, while the challenge with this new change out of high school to school in particular, is the fact the majority of people never step-back and question their path. Inside senior school, we are taught to “get to,” and I would personally be inclined to incorporate “whatever that implies” but we all know it precisely mode: go into an excellent school, which gets this strange stand-set for “a great lives.” But I’d assume that my personal wanting to know earlier this ageing in the event the it just happened the very first time mid-lifestyle.

At the same time, I am pleased it didn’t, while the today I am able to understand the believed roadway and also have the agencies to choose my own

Over my personal freshman cold weather break, We know I had specific thought to-do exactly how I wanted to profile my life at school. In a few implies, We know I found myself permitting Wesleyan affect me. Thus, I made an inventory, around three responsibility needs, about three deliberate serves.

  1. Devote some time for me personally
  2. Independent thoughts regarding reality
  3. Sit real so you can me personally (Tear freshman slip family unit members)

My next session away from Wesleyan GLOWED up, rather than because university magically aimed my market, however, since the I had intentionally oriented an actual physical and you will mental area – that has been while i “became” Marie and can even exit the rational constraints out-of Karla at the rear of. Which had been a period of time I could with full confidence review into and state was one of the recommended out-of my life.

This year, towards the angle off a wise and you will omniscient sophomore, You will aspergers chat room latin find have a tendency to receive me personally respiration a hushed sigh of save and you may thinking: “Thank goodness that is over” whenever talking-to my personal freshmen family members. New main theme, whether or not a good partygoer otherwise a homebody (one or two college or university archetypes the latest news keeps stabilized), try confusion – Is it really college? Is this it?

Wanting your “people” tends to be what’s very obviously uncomfortable early in college or university, however, I do believe there is so it other unspoken worry, that you’re at a big college or university with a huge number of opportunities while would be some body, you could be one thing. You can also end up being little, purposeless. Not one person discusses one to.

However again, possibly the genuine reason they do say that is because some thing score a great deal shittier from here

Having one and a half many years of university around my personal belt, I am able to point out that If only that they had informed me the latest changeover might possibly be more challenging. Maybe not on apparent causes however, accurately from the freedom of preference. I wish that they had explained one modifying my closet manage simply not erase this new fifth levels girl which need a secondary school date and/or anal highest schooler which thrived on work. How would it be the best years of your life in the event that that you do not know very well what you would like? 2nd upwards: my personal 20s. Oh man.

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