This Idiot Just HAD To Mention The Movies
His mother is going to blow a fuse when she finds out he stole her cookie jar money to make it.
WW’s Mom: Hey asshole! Where’s the $200 i had stashed in the Popeye cookie jar?WW: (lips trembling, eyes welling up) Uh I used it to uh buy the materials for my Halloween costume maWW’s Mom: What the fuck kind of costume costs $200 for materials? What are you going as, the StaPuft Marshmallow Man?WW: (mumbling) No, Puerto Rican ballsWW’s Mom: (ready to backhand him) Did you just call me Puerto Rican balls?WW: (initially ducking and then defiantly rising up) NO MA! I said i am going as BIG PUERTO RICAN BALLS!. I have never been Puerto Rican balls before and if I’m going to do it this is the year and by God i’m gonna be the biggest goddamn Puerto Rican balls you’ve ever seen! The $200 was spent on 20 yards of burlap, two 10 foot diameter heavy duty balloons and a goddamn tank of helium bitch, now leave me alone, i have to get back to sewing!
They begin to fight, he tries to grab the gun, she wrests control of it away and accidentally shoots him. in the crotch (well actually she CLAIMED it was an accident on the report). Thus explaining why every decision he now makes in life doesn’t hover around sex “with” women.
Ten hours later. “I’m going to order in some Chinese, want anything?” “Yeah thanks for reminding me. what I WANT is for President Imbecile to quit making China responsible for his own foreign policy decisions” “Eggrolls? Wontons? Egg drop soup perhaps?” “Orange chicken and fried rice, no scratch that President Imbecile’s hair is orange. Kung Pao Chicken and fried rice” “Ok calling it in” “Wait,make sure you tell them to remove all the carrots from the fried rice. Carrots are orange and” “Yeah yeah i know, President Imbecile’s hair is orange blah blah fuckin blah, I want a divorce you moron”